Facebook is a great social networking site, but are the employees really that socially clueless in their ad targeting? Do you think you’re creating a positive brand experience, Facebook?

Facebook, stop telling me about my “Friends.” They’re not, well, my friends.
Where is your “Facebook Wall” so I can write on it? I can’t find it because it’s buried under the 100 apps you’ve installed — apps that have taken the Facebook experience out of Facebook’s hands. The customers are running the kitchen, and most of what they’re serving is airline food.

Stop throwing sheep at me, and for Pete’s sake stop poking me! Great, now I know what “sign” you are, and what Chinese zodiac. Wow, are we incompatible as a couple? I didn’t care what your “sign” was in the real world. What makes you think I care about it on Facebook? And for those that do care, maybe you should get out of the virtual world and into the real world more often. You know, that’s where sex happens.

You support “that” political party? Are you kidding! I didn’t realize you were a subversively racist idiot. Do you actually practice that religion, or just dial-it-in? You know the hypocrisy of that faith? They subjugate women and believe that every other faith must die for them to ascend. You know that, right? And what’s with all the Zombies? Seriously. Hey, come play Scrabulous with me. Uh, who are you again? I must have accidentally accepted your friend request. Your status update just told me you were drunk. That’s just great. Did you think your boyfriend wouldn’t notice the pictures your friend posted of you? Oh, and by the way, I understand that I just turned 40, but do you now have to start showing me ads for reading glasses? And another thing — and this is priceless — did you really think that I wanted to see ads for Tru that said “broken heart?” right after removing “engaged” from my profile? Are you effin serious?

Facebook is a great social networking site, but are the employees really that socially clueless in the real world that they don’t know that maybe, just maybe, someone could have a very vitriolic reaction to that? Do you think that’s a positive brand experience, Facebook?

Facebook is enabling some very profound social dynamics. That last example is just one of them. Where do we, as a society, view privacy? What are we willing to give up? There is a substantially different view between generations — the younger generation having no illusions that they have any privacy, and the older generation deluded into thinking they do. Where are the lines between work life, personal life and what is acceptable? When your employer can find out what you believe, if you drink, see pictures of you smoking… and hey, is that a rave? What are the effects to your career? And will you ever know?

That’s the danger. It’s fine if they tell you that your behavior outside of the workplace reflects on the company and you have to curb your online persona, but how many companies will do that? More likely, you’ll just get shuffled to the side without ever knowing why. The company doesn’t want to get into a free-speech lawsuit with you. It’s just much easier to deny everything. Isn’t that what all these athletes have been doing for years? “I have never used performance enhancing substances.” Uh, yeah, sure, it’s just hard work, sweat and healthy eating. Deny, deny, deny. And that is the danger. Companies will just deny that any of it went into their decision-making process. Does knowing an employee’s political views or religion affect the company’s view of them? Of course it does!

Understand these are not “real” friends. You care about real friends, for who they are, not what they believe. In fact, often in spite of what they believe. But Facebook friends? Heck, you seriously can’t remember how you met half of them.

A friend of mine had a unique strategy. Because she had two kids, and she works in a job where she has to know the pulse of the social networking community, she never had her actual name on any of her social networking sites. She just chose a persona name that she used consistently across everything. Eventually, Facebook tracked her down and forced her to use her real name. Now, her real friends know her as the persona as well. So who was she harming? No one. She was actually protecting her reputation and her family from prying eyes — protecting her right to privacy as best she could.

If you ever wonder why you can’t get out of that job you’re in, just take a look at your online profiles. What are you telling the world about yourself? And imagine your boss, and your HR department, having full printouts of all of it. Scary, isn’t it?

Now, before you go assuming I am “hating” on Facebook, let me give Facebook some love. Last week, Facebook released a new privacy feature that is a substantial enhancement for controlling our online social circles — the ability to control, at the “friend” level, what each individual friend has access to. In the previous system, you had to relegate friends into two categories: Full Access or Limited. Facebook realized that we do not just have two types of friends, we have groups we are willing to share different aspects of ourselves with. Circles. And in order to protect ourselves in the more ephemeral world of online friending, we needed more control. I know, this is really not that hard of an insight if you actually socialize outside of the pict-o-cube you type on, but I will give them some love anyway for finally hiring someone with a social life in the real world who notices such things. Guess what? Facebook was listening after all. Well, at least in the area of privacy control of your profile.

As far as ad targeting — yikes. Facebook understands the technology behind advertising, but it is socially clueless when it comes to actually understanding consumer needs. Reminder: On my 40th birthday, I don’t want to see ads for reading glasses, even if I need them. I do not want to be targeted by dating sites the day after coming off an engagement. Seriously, is there a human involved in this process for social rules to the ad system? At least wait three-to-four weeks for that type of targeting. It would probably work better for response, and at least it would have prevented me from throwing my laptop across the room, which, I found, is not advisable, as laptops don’t really bounce as much as clank. It is one of the fundamental failings of online marketers: reliance on technology to make the decisions that rational humans would know are wrong.

Now, in Facebook’s defense, you can actually set some of the advertising controls. But how many of you have done that? Certain profile data points, such as a more serious “relationship status,” should default to “off” and trigger social rules based on approach to the ad system. Just a sweet little suggestion, Facebook, with a scoop of broken laptop.

Facebook is actually making positive steps forward. It is still clumsy sometimes, but at least it is stumbling forward instead of walking across the nearest landmine, which it is so adept at doing.

But all of this is a concern for privacy beyond a single site. Facebook is going in the right direction, but many are not. If you are concerned about these issues and want to get more involved, look to the Electronic Frontier Foundation. The EFF is a donor-funded nonprofit protecting our digital rights when those rights come under attack. Unlike most of our politicians, they understand what the issues are and what technology can do. Without them, people in our government who actually sit on telecommunications committee’s like Sen. Ted Stevens “the internet is a series of tubes,” and “an internet was sent by my staff,” would rule the day. Think about it and throw them a couple bucks. With all the illicit activity you do online anyway, you’re probably going to need help at some point. Think of it as throwing money in a collection basket at church. At some point, you’re going to try and call in a favor.

As advertisers and marketers, we tend to view the world through a myopic lens that sees only barriers to getting at the consumer data we need; data that would make our work lives easier and help us sell more products. Let’s not lose sight of the consumer, the human being, at the end of the process. What we fight for not only impacts their rights, but our own. The societal effects of us wanting all of that information might be good for your business, but is it really good for you?